What does transformation look like through a parent’s eyes? In this heartfelt interview, we speak with the mother of a DRBU alumna, Nahelia Aguilar MA ’21, who shares her unique perspective on her daughter’s remarkable journey. From childhood struggles with authenticity and belonging to finding a sanctuary where deep questions are welcomed and genuine community thrives, this conversation offers an intimate look at how DRBU’s distinctive approach to Buddhist higher education impacts not just students but entire families. Through a mother’s loving observations, we explore what makes DRBU’s programs truly transformative—and why parents are taking notice.

What’s your opinion about me before and after my time at DRBU?

Before you went to DRBU, I observed a profound restlessness in you—as though you were perpetually searching for something just beyond reach. From a very young age, I remember you confiding that you sometimes felt compelled to wear masks to fit in with certain groups. This was something that deeply troubled you, something you instinctively rebelled against, yet you understood it was necessary for social acceptance. When you finally arrived at DRBU, I witnessed what can only be described as finding sanctuary. For the first time in your life, you didn’t need to wear those masks.

What do you think my experience was at DRBU?

I vividly remember you saying, “I can finally just be in this place.” Throughout that transformative journey—through countless discussions with classmates and professors, the physical distance from your home country, within that unique academic environment—I watched you discover what I had always hoped you would find: the freedom to be authentically yourself. You reconnected with an essential part of your being that had been suppressed in a society unprepared for individuals of your depth and sensitivity. You had learned to be chameleon-like not out of antisocial tendencies, but precisely because you cherish relationships and wanted to maintain connections with those you care about. However, at DRBU, adaptation became unnecessary because you could simply exist as yourself.

Where we came from, there’s not much Buddhism. What did you think when I told you I was starting a program in a Buddhist university?

I remember asking you, “Why Buddhism? Why this particular master’s program?” Your response was immediate and certain: “I simply cannot envision myself doing anything else—I have to pursue this path.” When you returned, I encountered someone fundamentally transformed. Gone was the person perpetually on high alert, constantly wrestling with nonconformity. Instead, I met a woman who had arrived at a profound understanding of her identity, her desires, and her boundaries. You had embarked on that journey seeking answers, only to discover that there are no absolute answers—that truth is constructed, that each individual must forge their own understanding, and that absolute certainties do not exist.

What do you think was the impact that DRBU had on my life?

The transformation occurred through connection and dialogue. By engaging with others, studying diverse perspectives, and listening to other life stories that resonated with your own experiences, I witnessed a remarkable metamorphosis. You were no longer someone struggling to fit into conventional molds. At DRBU, you discovered a community that shared your worldview, your sensibilities, and your values. You found intellectual and spiritual companionship around principles that had stirred within you since childhood—the ethics of vegetarianism, the importance of meaningful discourse, the pursuit of life’s deeper questions.

Even as a very young child, you posed questions that most children never consider: “What purpose does life serve? What does it mean to be alive?” These are not typical childhood inquiries, yet they were central to your inner world. Our society simply isn’t equipped to nurture individuals of your philosophical depth. You don’t engage with superficial matters or live on surface levels. At DRBU, you discovered a place where this depth was not only welcomed but celebrated.

Can you explain more about this “transformation” that happened to me from your perspective?

Upon your return, I encountered someone with profound self-awareness—an individual who had made peace with existence itself. This inner harmony significantly diminished what I had always observed as your combative stance toward the world. Your perpetual state of hypervigilance finally subsided. Attending DRBU was undoubtedly one of the most beneficial decisions you’ve ever made, and the proof lies in the lasting connections you’ve forged there.

DRBU became more than an educational institution for you—it became a treasured place that fuels your enthusiasm and motivates you to give everything you have to your work there. I observe how deeply you care that incoming students experience the same sense of belonging and harmony that transformed your own life. You’ve made it your mission to ensure they find what you found there. At least, this is what I think.