Kathleen Irby, graduate and longtime friend of DRBU, passed away in 2024 at the age of 65. In her will Kathleen left half her remaining estate to the University. This tremendous and inspiring gift models for us the Bodhisattva paramita of generosity. But it is far from all that Kathleen gave us. Over the years she gave us her kindness, her care, her wisdom, and her warmth. She showed us how to be a friend and a community member.
Kathleen was born in Riverside, California in March 1959. She operated a bookkeeping business for many years. Offering her organizational expertise to the University and the monastery, she volunteered at the main library of DRBU and the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas for ten years before applying to DRBU. She had already completed an AA degree at Yuba College in 2003 when she entered DRBU as a part-time bachelor’s student in 2014. She became a full-time student a year later but again had to reduce her course load in 2017 because of medical difficulties. Still, she persevered. In 2020, after six years, she completed her bachelor’s studies. A year later she began DRBU’s master’s program, which she completed in 2023.
A story that Kathleen liked to tell was how, as a young person in Southern California, she met a golden man on the beach. He told her he would start a school in the future and invited her to attend. The golden man was the Venerable Master Hsuan Hua, DRBU’s founder, in his yellow robes. Kathleen took his words to heart and lived in the spirit of what they meant to her. As one DRBU professor wrote, remembering Kathleen, “Whenever Kathleen recalled her childhood encounter with Venerable Master Hua, she spoke as someone returning to a moment of extraordinary grace. That encounter stayed with her throughout her life and helped shape the person she wanted to become. She told many of us that she saw coming to DRBU as a way to repay Master Hua’s kindness, keep her promise to him, and do her small part to bring the Buddhadharma to the West.”
In her time at DRBU, as a student, a volunteer, and a community member, Kathleen offered us the incredible wealth of her spirit. She gave her time, insight, and hard work to library visitors and colleagues, to classmates and professors, and to everyone she met at DRBU. In this she gave us a living exemplar of the cultivator who works to benefit the world.
Kathleen’s classmates remember her compassion and her eagerness to learn. “Kathleen was full of warmth and had a bright smile whenever I saw her. Her insights and her deep sincerity for the Dharma shone through during shared inquiry,” one wrote. Another described her as “a person who cared for others and who believed in kindness.”
A supervisor at the library wrote that Kathleen was “a dedicated, friendly worker who collaborated well with her colleagues. To express her gratitude for Master Hua’s teachings, she continued to volunteer at the library even after graduating.” The same happiness to help and wish to give back is reflected in a small story of her generosity. At a time when DRBU had only one car for student transportation, a manual transmission or stick-shift car, Kathleen spent weeks teaching another student how to drive it.
The DRBU faculty offered many moving words in memory of Kathleen. One of Kathleen’s professors remembers her sense of humor and excitement to learn, which uplifted those around her and infused the classroom with joy. “That kind of obvious delight in discovering ideas and concepts new to her was contagious and influenced the tenor of whatever learning arena she joined. Kathleen could be described as a catalyst who provided positive energy to the group without that diminishing the scope of her individual vitality.”
Another faculty member reflected on her steadfastness in the face of difficulties. “Language learning seemed to be one of Kathleen’s greatest challenges. She often joked that learning Chinese was the best way to test her patience and vow. Yet she never gave up. She told me that, compared with Venerable Master Hua’s challenges in bringing the Buddhadharma to the West, her own struggles with memorizing Chinese radicals and characters and figuring out Chinese syntax were nothing in comparison.”
Recalling how Kathleen continued in her studies undiscouraged by health setbacks, another professor described her as resilient. Her dedication to learning in the broadest sense—inside and outside the classroom, on the path of wisdom and compassion—carried her through adversity and made her a role model for us all. “I remember her speaking fondly of her encounter with the Venerable Master Hua years before. She truly appreciated the education she received and lived her life to the fullest—a true student of life.”
The Buddha told us that good friends are the whole of the path to liberation. The path he taught is not a solitary path. By giving to others, by taking care of each other, we learn to let go of our little sense of self. We awaken the boundless heart that embraces all things. Kathleen was the kind of good friend the Buddha described. She showed us what it looks like to live in this spirit of selflessness. In passing, she gave DRBU a profound and generous gift. Throughout her life, she gave us so much more. We celebrate Kathleen for who she was, what she did, and all she offered to the world.